Thursday, March 12, 2015

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (baby)

I feel like I have to do these life updates a lot because I tend to just let my blog go.  Lately I have been having a hard time blogging because it seems like such the thing to do.  Throw your opinion out there and hope the public grasps it.  Write about your day-to-day and maybe someone will find interest in it.  Read this person’s blog about this topic or that person’s blog about that topic. So, I had kind of sworn off from blogging for a while.  However, I do like to keep track of life events and this is a great resource for that.

Sooooo, in case you forgot or down right didn’t know we are expecting baby #2 like SOON!  My due date is March 23rd.

We decided to find out what we were having this time just to see what that was like…

It’s been fun, but I think I like the anticipation of not knowing a lot better.  Plus it’s fun to have a really cool nickname for the baby and that be all it goes by until it’s here.

This one’s nickname was star baby. And I’ll just let your imagination run wild as to why J

Once we found out it was a BOY we already had a boy name in our back pocket that we didn’t get to use for Wren.  Thayer Maxwell Washer.  It’s Gary’s grandfather’s name and he actually hates it.  When we told him if we had a boy we were planning on naming him that he said, “That is a terrible name and you shouldn’t do that.  Who names their kid Thayer?”  I don’t think Gary has brought it up since and I’m pretty sure Pop has NO IDEA that this boy is getting his name.  That will be a fun conversation.

We are doing things a lot different this time. Some might call us hippy (or the modern word for that is crunchy), but we are excited and anxious for this endeavor.  We are having a home birth with a midwife!!

We didn’t come to this decision lightly.  I honestly would have loved to have done it with Wren, but I’m a contacts kind of girl.  I like to know people who have experienced it before me so I can get their opinions and stories.

My contact?  Jessica.  Yep, the one who I helped supply her baby with milk is now playing a big role in our boy’s life.  I guess it really all started when we met with them that very first night (1 YEAR AGO TOMORROW).  They told us about their horrific hospital birth with their oldest that drew them to having 2 home births to follow.  They are fascinating and intriguing stories!

When we got pregnant, Jessica was one of the first people I told.  She was ecstatic!!  She was actually in the process of becoming a Bradley Method Coach. 

At that point, I hadn’t fully grasped the concept of home birth, but knew that if it truly was something I wanted to do I needed to start making phone calls quickly.

I went ahead and went into my OB for the initial visit.  My doctor, Dr. Moss, actually stopped delivering babies so she referred me to the new doctor in the office, Dr. Salter.  I went to see Dr. Salter when I was about 10 weeks pregnant and told her I was thinking about doing a home birth.  She was supportive, but concerned, which in turn kind of worried me.  Gary re-assured me that we could do it and not to let her opinion be the last one I hear.  I went back one more time around 11 weeks for an ultrasound to be sure they had the correct due date and that was the last time I went to the OB.

I first met with Susie when I was 9 weeks pregnant.  She has an interview process that she does for each mom to be sure it’s someone she is willing to work with.  I was a nervous wreck.  Is my house clean enough?  Is it big enough?  For some reason the main thing I’ve been worried about more than anything is the size of my house.  For anyone that knows my family and friends it was pretty much a PAR-TAY when Wren was born.  I had an open door policy during labor and honestly I was really ok with whoever being in there when she was born.  I told Susie all of this and she simply said in her sweet voice, “I am totally fine with your family being here, but when it’s time for you to really focus on delivering the baby I will probably have to ask them to step out of the room. I don’t want you to be focused on what other people are doing.  I don’t want you to be focused on being a mommy to Wren.  I want you to focus on one task and that task is getting your baby here.”

Before she left, we hugged and she said she would be praying about this and for Gary and me to let her know if this was for sure what we wanted to do.  I don’t know about you, but when I run into people that their first reaction to a tough decision is prayer it brings me such peace!  We had pretty much decided immediately that this was the route we wanted to take.  I did have my OB visit a week later with Dr. Salter, which is the one that got me worried, but a little encouragement from Gary got me back on track with Susie.

Jessica became a certified Bradley Coach in November and we started our 12 week class the first week of December. 

This whole experience has been amazing so far!

Amazing, however, doesn’t mean completely easy.  When we first finalized our decision I still had a hard time telling people.  When someone would ask where we planned on delivering I would shrivel up and quietly whisper, “We’re having a home birth.” I would then squint my face and brace myself for their comments.  People could probably tell I wasn’t completely confident in my answer, but for the most part they were really interested in why we made this decision.

I would always say, “We didn’t have a bad hospital experience with Wren, but this is something I’ve always wanted to do.” 

My lowest point was when I read this blog.  I messaged Jessica in a freak out…

Just when I was getting comfortable and confident with this whole home birth thing this happens and it makes me nervous! Now I will say that I feel confident in Susie's abilities especially since I know she delivered a healthy baby with shoulder dystocia, but I'm still nervous! I haven't really had a lot of people discourage me from home birth. Do they think it's weird? Yes. They probably talk about me behind my back, but really not much discouragement toward my face. It's really all been in my head and that's the last place it needs to be. I guess what I'm trying to say is I just need you to tell me it's all going to be ok J

Her reply...

oh honey!!! I wanna hug you right now. That is an awful experience of 1 person. She was a statistic. I have honestly NEVER heard of a home birth going horribly wrong. If you look at the statistics she posted, it was a rare on top of rare situation. I truly believe that there could have been preventative measures taken to avoid it. First off, that baby was huge! Almost 10 pounds. It was her first baby and brow presentation almost never happens with a first. Second, it doesn't sound like she was doing any exercises or training throughout her pregnancy. You are, you are doing pelvic rocking, which gets the baby in the right position, kegels which is tightening up your pelvic floor (pc muscles) third, the midwife should have been able to know that the baby's head was coming down wrong. There are positions to turn the baby and get them in the right way, maybe even holding off pushing. Lastly, if you are having worries, ask Susie what she would do in this type of situation ask about previous births, her training, etc. I will say that I had these same fears and worries before Tayla was born and then after having an "emergency" situation that was handled with such care and haste, I knew that Susie was the perfect part of our birth team. It is all going to be okay! Pray about this, ask the Lord to ease your worry. Put it all in His hands. Your birth story will be all your own. I know that you are working and doing the best that you can right now to prepare for the best outcome of baby. You got this! I hope this helps you. I love you!!

She talked me down from my freak out.  I can read that story now and while, yes, it is a terrible experience there are plenty of hospital birth stories that are just as terrible, if not worse. 

Our Bradley class ended a couple of weeks ago and Gary and I learned SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!  Jessica did an amazing job and if you are interested in a natural birth I encourage you to find a Bradley Coach close to you.  If you are in the middle Tennessee area here’s Jessica’s website!!  Did you click on it?  Did you read any of her stories?  Well, if you didn’t I hope you do because they’re pretty awesome!  *Yes that was a shamless plug*  Oh and did I mention she is also my doula?!

Now that I have been through that class and I go back and read Wren’s birth story I have realized how things could have gone so differently with her birth.  While it wasn’t horrible and she and I are both alive and well, some of the things the doctors and nurses said (and how they said it) or did weren’t things that necessarily needed to happen.  I won’t go into detail, but I will say that even though I respect the decisions and opinions of medical professionals I have learned so much more about my body and what it's telling me then what I knew when I was in labor with Wren.

So how do I feel today?  10 days before my due date?  SOOOO EXCITED!!  My house is clean.  My room is set up, except for some final details that will be done once I go into labor. My family is supportive and I have the most amazing birth team EVER!!

I can’t wait to update everyone on our home birth story!!  Pray for us as we face this exciting adventure because ultimately God is in control!

I will leave you with this sweet video of Wren singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!


Jessica said...

I love this an I love reading your blogs!

Thank you so much for your support! I am honored to be as your doula an friend!
I am so excited for you and Gary and can't wait to get the call....or picture. ;-)

<3 <3

Katie skelton said...

Oh sweet girl, I'm sorry I haven't told you how in awe I am of you and Gary. I don't necessarily want to talk about about hospitals and medical folks either, but it sounds like you are learning all you can and going to be so prepared for this go round, it will be wonderful!!! My only negative is.... Please let me stand in the corner still. I won't say anything, I'll stand there and cry, is all. I promise :-). Anyway, so excited for you, Gary and Wren and Star Baby is so lucky to get to be in this family!!! Love you!!!! Antkt